Tuesday, February 24, 2015

drop and give me 20

LENT is here again, so it is time to recommit to our spiritual work-outs.  How else would we avoid spiritual diabetes?  Here is a neat Daily Theology piece courtesy of Fran Szpylczyn.  Katharine Mahon, the author, references this image from Catholic Fit:

 Mahon then adds [bracketed comments in original]:
Catholic Fitness Problems
  • There is no way you could ever give up meat for Lent.
  • No meat on Fridays is hard enough. Chicken breast is its own food group for you.
  • Wait, does protein powder count as meat? [It doesn’t]
  • Does a protein shake count as a meal on a fast day?? [It does]
  • You should know better than to schedule a workout on a fast day. [But you don’t]
  • You should know better than to go to Mass the day after leg day/spin class. [Because you won’t be getting back up off that kneeler]
  • You sometimes secretly do glute squeezes during Mass.
  • You’ve wondered how many carbs are in the Host.
  • You don’t understand people who go gluten-free or paleo for Lent [You’re pretty sure Jesus was pro-bread]
  • You’ve considered sneaking some rosary decades into your rep counts.
  • You once accidentally started praying the rosary during your rep counts.
  • You have actually had to pray the rosary to get through high rep counts.
  • You might pray harder in Barre class than in Church.
  • You’ve had someone tell you that yoga is sinful polytheistic practice.
  • You went anyway (but snuck in a couple of Hail Marys during meditation time).
  • But you’re not completely convinced that Cross Fit isn’t a cult.
  • You’ve finally accepted that modest compression shorts just do not exist.
  • Yet you keep searching for a pair that isn’t quite so revealing.
  • You’d be mortified if your priest ever saw your Spotify gym playlist.
  • You feel almost as guilty about missing a workout as you do missing Mass. [Almost]
  • You initially deeply misunderstood the concept of Ignatius’ “Spiritual Exercises.”
  • “Re-rack your weights, Bro,” is your 11th commandment.
  • You’ve prayed to Saint Sebastian during really long runs. [And here’s a song just for you]
  • You’ve considered praying to Saint Anthony after you’ve lost gains.
  • You once yelled “offer it up!” while spotting someone on bench press.
  • You’ve thanked God when you set a new PR.
  • You’ve considered dedicating a workout to a special intention.
  • You secretly want this shirt
Light humor--but also realistic.  And, no, I don't want the shirt. 

Read it all here.

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